Ettak of the Toned
by Inkwing
Summary: TONED has a high score. ETTAK beats it.


**ETTAK of the TONED**

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**Disclaimer: **I don't' own NCIS. I'd gladly swap the clothes on my back, all my worldly possessions and several members of my family for it, but I can't.

**A/N: **I was watching the episode with the sniper and the recruiter and at the beginning they're playing a video game which this marine aces. Plot bunny alert! Oh, and I know the names suck, okay? No need to rub it in, guys.

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"_Ding ding ding! High score_!" Exclaimed the machine with robotic enthusiasm.

Tony replied with a loud whoop and slapped the colourful plastic exterior of _Midnight Skeleton Invasion III_. He was five bucks and one hour down, but he'd beat the high score! That silly _ETTAK_ wouldn't be beating _that_ score in a hurry. It had been about two weeks ago now that Tony had first beaten ETTAK's high score on this machine by fluke one night. Ever since then he'd come by every night after work and see that he'd been beaten only to beat him back before he left. Now, however, he'd gotten the mother of all high scores. There was no way ETTAK could ever even hope to win. With a satisfied grunt, Tony slid the fake, uncomfortably light gun into the 'holster' on the machine. He much preferred his real gun but he couldn't exactly go blasting holes in an arcade game, could he? Talk about a bad looser.

"Tony! Can we go now?" Whined his latest arm ornament, tugging on the said part of his anatomy.

"What? Oh yeah, I guess so. What did you think of my game though - sweet, huh?" He replied proudly with a mega-watt grin.

"Uh, yeah, it was great." The woman replied unenthusiastically, making it obvious that she hadn't been watching.

Tony frowned, then took another look at her and smiled, "Let's get out of here."

"At last!"

The two were nearly at the door when Tony remembered he'd left his wallet at the machine. Easier to get quarters out quickly with it lying on top.

"Crap! I'll be right back, Marie." He excused himself, rescuing his arm and slipping through the crowd back to his machine.

Only this time it appeared to be someone else's machine.

A very pretty someone.

Whoever they were had their hair tied up in some fancy to-do and was wearing a white tank top and cute skirt. Like him they had a companion who was complaining about their playing the arcade game but Tony would have been quite disappointed if they'd been dating _their_ companion since they were both female. After spotting his wallet safely on top of the machine where he'd left it, Tony leaned against _Zombie Raid 3000_, content to watch.

The actual player of the game was silent although she was clearly intent on the game. Her stance and grip on the gun seemed to be right (although he couldn't see to much of the grip as he was behind her) but her shoulders were too tense. He toyed with the idea of telling her that for a moment before remembering Marie whom he'd left outside. A second's hesitation was all that Marie got before Tony had moved closer to the shooter, grabbing words to correct her with that could double as a chat-up line. However, he never got to correct her because just as he was about to speak, she beat him to it.

"Ha! Got you _TONED_! I'd like to see you beat that!" She yelled triumphantly in a scarily recognizable voice.

_Oh God, _Tony thought, paling, _it's-_

"Kate! Can we go now?" Whined her friend, making Tony's eyes widen with the unwanted dejavu.

"What? Oh, yeah, I guess so. What did you -"

"Hey Katie, having fun?" Cut in Tony swiftly before the dejavu could increase any more.

"Tony?!" Yelped Kate, turning around with a blush firing up her cheeks, "I didn't know you came here."

For some reason, that simple comment sounded incredibly dangerous.

"This is Tony, huh?" Remarked her friend wryly, running her eyes over him.

Tony grinned at Kate, wondering what she'd said about him and nodded, "Better than what you expected, right?"

"It'd be hard not to be. I'm Jackie." Informed Kate's friend, causing Tony's smile to droop slightly.

Eager to change the subject, he leaned over Kate's shoulder to look at the screen, noticing that she was wearing some pretty nice perfume as he did. They must have gone to a party or something. That would explain the attire too. He was about to remark on it but once again, his attention was diverted.

"_You're_ ETTAK?" He gasped, head swivelling around to stare at her.

"Duh. It's practically my name backwards. You must come here a lot to know ETTAK though. You any good?" She asked, flaunting her teasing smile.

He scowled slightly, "I'd thought it was some lame kind of play on 'attack' actually. And I am good. Good enough to beat you every night!" He retorted, jabbing a figner at the scoreboard.

It was ETTAK and TONED, one after the other, for as long as the list went.

"No way. You are _not _TONED..." She shook her head disbelievingly, looking him in the eye for a moment, "...you are, aren't you?"

"Well it is _**Ton**_y **_D_**iNozzo. Only with a little manipulating. Girls like a toned guy." He explained, flashing her a mega watt smile, as always.

She elbowed him, hard, but a small smile played around her lips at the realisation.

"Wait a minute, so you two have been unwittingly playing against each other for all this time?" Jackie laughed as she took it in, "Well if that isn't proof that you're-"

"You know, there's only one way to actually decide who's the better player, Tony." Interrupted Kate hurriedly, "A showdown."

"You're so on!" Came the immediate response, "...but Marie's waiting for me..."

Jackie shook her head, "What does she look like? I'll go explain the urgency of this one-to-one match."

A quick description (which focused on something that earned Tony another elbow to the gut) later, Kate and Tony were stationed beside each other in front of the two-player shooting game, _Star Wars, Episode One - Attack of the Clones_, blasting away at the screen. Tony's eyes were narrowed to slits. Kate looked like she was about to bite right through her lip. A few yards away, Marie and Jackie chatted aimlessly, one affectionately and one irritably. The two agents paid them no attention though, both solely focused on the game. A kid tripped over beside them, splattering his slush puppy across a pair of expensive black shoes and delicate white sandals. They didn't even blink.

The battle raged on, neither side letting up, until it was going on a half an hour game. Judging by the fact that it had taken Kate just ten minutes to beat Tony's high score, this was a long showdown. Finally, the two observers had had enough.

"Aaargh! Aaaaaaaaaaarrreeeum." The shouts of the characters who were being shot to bits spluttered out of existence as Jackie straightened up, plug in hand.

"NO!" Was the simultaneous cry of Kate and Tony, both gaping at the screen.

"I was nearly there!"

"Oh come on, I had you trapped!"

"No way, you were three rounds down."

"Yeah, but you were one arm down."

"It wasn't my firing arm."

"Still counts! I was winning and you know it, Tony!"

"As if! I was a cop for ages, Kate, I think I can shoot better than a-"

"A girl? _A girl? _Do you want to take this outside, Tony? Is that it? Because I'll gladly kick your butt!"

"I wasn't going to say a girl..." Muttered Tony.

"Then what?" Demanded Kate, fuming.

"I dunno."

Truth was, Tony didn't know exactly what he'd been going to say because in however many years of working with her, he still hadn't found the right word to sum Kate up. Other girls were easy. Marie was blonde. Jackie was fun. Abby was goth. Kate...he still didn't know what Kate was. This party-going Kate was a new side to her - proof that there was a lot left to learn. Tony didn't often feel that was about girls.

However, this was clearly not a satisfactory answer. Or at least not how he phrased it.

"You're a sexist pig, do you know that?" She huffed.

"A sexist pig who would have beat you if our dear friend here hadn't pulled the plug."

"Oh, we'll see about that, DiNozzo. I call a rematch!" Challenged Kate.

"I accept. But no funny business. I bet that kid with the slush puppy was your idea - trying to distract me by making me think of how much these'll cost to replace, are we?."

"Hey, my toes are sticky too." She shot back, along with a glare.

"I guess we'll need a referee..." He suggested, turning to the stools where Jackie and Marie had been seated.

They were empty.

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_I don't know but I've been told,_

_A good review's worth more than gold._


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